Kendra Wilkinson has broken her silence regarding her mental health battle that left her hospitalized twice last year.
“I was dying of depression. I was hitting the end of my life, and I went into psychosis,” she recalled in an interview with People published Tuesday.
“I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to live anymore.”
Pvnew confirmed Wilkinson, 38, took herself to the emergency room in September 2023 after suffering a panic attack amid the stress of being a single mom to two kids while trying to solidify her real estate career.
A source told TMZ at the time that the “Kendra on Top” alum was “desperate for help” and allegedly “pleading” for a doctor.
“It was the lowest place I’ve ever been in my life. I felt like I had no future. I couldn’t see in front of my depression,” she told People of her mindset around the time of her hospitalization.
“I was giving up and I couldn’t find the light. I had no hope.”
The former reality star, who shares son Hank IV, 14, and daughter Alijah Mary, 9, with ex-husband Hank Baskett, added, “I was trying to fight it on my own. I was trying to cure it on my own and you can’t do that.”
She continued, “I was isolating, hiding, blaming myself, blaming the world. I was spiraling out of control and I felt like I wasn’t strong enough to survive.”
The reality star-turned-realtor said her ex-husband’s willingness to take her to the hospital was her first step toward a new beginning.
“Hank driving me to the hospital that day was out of care. It wasn’t out of marriage,” she said.
Wilkinson revealed that during her second hospitalization, she was prescribed the antipsychotic medication Abilify. She also started outpatient therapy three times a week at UCLA.
There she began chipping away at the layers of remorse, guilt and self-hatred she felt from her teenage years, her time at the Playboy Mansion — which she said “messed my whole life up” — and her divorce.
“I didn’t realize how bad I was suffering or what people were seeing of me until I got there,” she said. “I had to really look in the mirror and be like, ‘I need help.'”
As part of her healing, Wilkinson began asking herself questions like: “Why did I have sex with Hugh Hefner at that age? Why did I do that? Why did I go to the mansion in the first place? Why did I get big boobs? Why am I a sex symbol?”
In November 2023, Wilkinson shared on Instagram that she “recently finished treatment” for her depression and anxiety.
“Being a solo act can get heavy sometimes and life can get challenging but I do the best I can and push with positive energy,” she acknowledged.
“Back on my feet. Happily working in real estate, taking care of my babies and myself. Great friends. Heart is full of gratitude!!! ☀️.”
Now, she’s making sure her parenting doesn’t push her daughter into the same issues she dealt with as a teenager.
“I see loopholes in my life where I’m trying to correct now so my daughter doesn’t have to experience what I did at a young age. I don’t want my daughter sexualized like I was,” she explained to People.
Though Wilkinson understands that her depression won’t just go away, she feels she is doing her part “to learn to work with it and accept it.”
“What therapy did was that it built this tool system for me,” she said.
“So now I have the strength — I have the strength and the foundation I need to overcome my depression.”
