Tatum O’Neal admits she suffered from severe suicidal thoughts during the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic.
The actress, 59, told the Hollywood Reporter in an interview published Monday that she was living on a high floor of an apartment building in Century City, Calif., and “kept on wanting to fall off and die.”
O’Neal then fell seriously ill.
“I had never been so sick,” she explained. “I didn’t know I had COVID.”
The Oscar winner prepared for the worst — giving her beloved dog to her daughter, Emily McEnroe — and then ingested handfuls of pills including painkillers, opiates and morphine.
“I’ve had problems with drugs for many, many years,” she shared. “But I overtook my medicine, for sure. And that’s it. I fell asleep. That’s what happened.”
In May 2020, the “Paper Moon” star was discovered unconscious by a friend and rushed to a hospital. She had suffered a stroke, cardiac arrest and several seizures.
Her children with her ex-husband, John McEnroe — Kevin, 37, Sean, 35, and Emily, 32 — were scared that she was going to die.
O’Neal was in a coma for six weeks, and when she finally awoke, she could not speak. She now lives in a retirement community in the San Fernando Valley that specializes in memory care, where she spends hours every day in speech and memory therapy.
The “Bad News Bears” star is now capable of speaking for hours at a time even though she sometimes fumbles over a word.
There were also fears after the stroke that she might never walk again, but O’Neal is able to move around — albeit with a limp.
The stroke did, however, affect her ability to read or write, so the star passes the time by scrolling through her Instagram feed.
She also recently saw her father, actor Ryan O’Neal, with whom she has long had a dysfunctional relationship.
Ryan won custody of Tatum and her brother Griffin O’Neal from their mother, Joanna Moore, who suffered from an amphetamine addiction. Living with Ryan came with its own set of problems, as Tatum outlined in her book “A Paper Life.”
“I remained Ryan’s companion on the Hollywood party circuit, growing inured to sex and drugs before I was in my teens,” she wrote.
The last time the two saw each other was in September 2020, along with her children, who had not seen their grandfather in 17 years. Sean shared a photo on Instagram of the reunion, which took place as wildfires raged in California.
“This is one of the most memorable photos of my life,” read Sean’s caption. “The last time we were all together was at the 30-year Paper Moon Anniversary in 2003. I could cry tears of gratitude that everyone in this photo is still alive and that we were all able to come together again after so many years of hardship.
“The entire West Coast is burning, but if the O’Neals can reconcile, truly anything is possible.”
The photo made headlines, but Tatum’s condition was not shared at the time. She confessed that it has not been an easy road despite all the accolades and wealth.
“It’s been hard,” she said. “I’ve had a hard time with a lot of things. I’ve had a very hard life. Not an easy life. There’s been some amazing things and some really scary things.”
