Dean McDermott took “six or seven” sleeping pills after a brutal “drunk and angry” fight with Tori Spelling with hopes of not waking up.
The former “Chopped Canada” host admitted the suicide attempt, which took place in mid-June, led to him announcing on Instagram that he and the “Beverly Hills, 90210” alum were separating — unbeknownst to her.
“It was the night that I raged against her and the children and I saw the light, the final flicker of the flame go out in her eyes,” he told DailyMail in an interview published Thursday.
“I posted that because I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what to do. I had burned everything down yet again.”
Sharing the post, which he ended up deleting after he came to his senses, prompted him to take even more Ambien than he already had.
“I was literally at my wit’s end. That night, I was drinking and I was into my pills,” adding that he wanted to die but thankfully God woke him up.
“I would’ve ruined so many lives if I had died,” he admitted.
McDermott, 57, told the outlet that the Instagram announcement was a cry for help that he desperately needed but said he regretted hurting his children in the process.
“It wasn’t the right way to do it, but it got people’s attention. The people I needed it to. It fell in the ears of people I wanted it to fall into,” he said.
“I was so full of shame and it was such a horrible idea. And then my kids were really, really hurt.”
The “Due South” star admitted in a previous interview that his secret drug and alcohol abuse led to the demise of his and Spelling’s 17-year marriage over the summer — and left his family “petrified” of him.
McDermott spent more than a month in rehab before moving into a sober living facility in Woodland Hills, Calif., where he resides with eight other men.
“That’s what it led to and that’s what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori. I couldn’t do it anymore,” he said.
“I couldn’t live that life anymore. I was tired of the anger and the yelling.”
Although the former reality star is now sober, he admitted he hasn’t seen Spelling, 50, or his kids in five months.
“It’s going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day,” he said.
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or text Crisis Text Line at 741741.
