Nick Carter revealed he is still grieving the death of his late brother, Aaron Carter.
“I’m just still processing the whole thing,” the Backstreet Boys member admitted in an interview with E! News Friday.
“And sometimes you push it down because you don’t want to think about it.”
The “Everybody” singer paused as tears welled up in his eyes before adding, “And then it comes out, like this. I’m hoping one day I can make sense of it all.”
Reflecting on the “good times” he shared with Aaron, Nick added that this year’s holiday season won’t be the same without his younger brother.
“When I think back and I get to these holidays, like Halloween, these are like moments and milestones and times when I’ve actually shared those memories with my brother,” Nick, 43, explained.
“Even though I’m sharing it with my kids and my family now, there are times when I sit by myself or if I’m in my car and I say to myself, ‘This is unbelievable,'” he explained.
It’s unclear if the brothers were on good terms when the “I Want Candy” singer passed, but Nick admitted “it hurts” to not be able to reconcile with him.
“No matter what he and I have gone through in our own lives we were always able to make amends, always were able to get back to that place and now I can’t anymore,” he said.
As Nick continues to navigate Aaron’s death nearly one year later, he’s “working on” moving forward.
“No matter what, he’s my brother and I miss him and I love him,” he concluded.
To help work through his grief, Nick honored his brother with the song “Hurts to Love You,” which was released in January.
The song lyrics dove into the wishes Nick had for his little brother to overcome his demons.
The music video, which was released later on, showed several scenes from the duo’s childhood.
Aaron was found dead in a bathtub at his California home on Nov. 5, 2022. He was 34.
An autopsy report obtained by Pvnew in April revealed his manner of death was ruled an accident after it was determined he slipped and drowned while under the influence of several substances.
A flammable gas known as difluoroethane and alprazolam — a generic form of Xanax — was found in his system.
However, Aaron’s family is now arguing his death might not have been an accident.
Court documents obtained by TMZ last month revealed his ex-girlfriend Melanie Martin filed a wrongful death lawsuit on behalf of their 1-year-old son, Prince.
The toddler alleged in the documents that pharmacies and doctors improperly prescribed his dad medications that hindered “[Aaron’s] known mental health history and psychiatric condition.”
Per the docs, the “Aaron’s Party” singer was allegedly prescribed hydrocodone, oxycodone and alprazolam without an apparent reason.
