Natalie Portman says dealing with speculation surrounding the end of her marriage to Benjamin Millepied after his alleged affair has been horrible.
The “May December” actress, 42, addressed dealing with the tabloid attention in a new interview with Vanity Fair published Wednesday.
“It’s terrible, and I have no desire to contribute to it,” she curtly told the magazine.
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The “Black Swan” star admitted that she’s been conscious of her public perception since she first broke into Hollywood as a young actress.
“I got very protective of it very early on,” she said. “I chose a different name when I started, which was kind of an interesting way that I separated identities.”
She continued, “I would get upset if someone at school called me Natalie Portman. I was like, if you know me, you know me as Natalie Hershlag at school. It was kind of an extreme bifurcation of identity that I’ve tried to integrate a little bit more as an adult.”
Portman said she initially struggled to understand that both identities were a part of her.
“There wasn’t a ‘real’ me and a ‘pretend’ me,” she said, adding, “they didn’t necessarily have different names. And it’s not just two different versions, there are multitudes of ways other people see me, both public and private, and there are multitudes of ways I see myself.”
The “No Strings Attached” actress now allows herself to merge all of those internal and external attributes that come with stardom when viewing her identity.
“Somehow the intersection of all of those are part of me, and it’s important to have all of those within me and as me, as opposed to being like, that’s some external thing, this is the real thing,” she said. “As I started having kids and a family, I started realizing that maybe it was not helpful to be like, there’s two of me.
“I have many interactions during my day as a public person. To exclude that from my experience is not real.”
Portman and Millepied, 46, got married in 2012 and share two kids: Aleph, 12, and Amalia, 6.
Sources claimed in June 2023 that the French dancer had an affair with a 25-year-old woman a year prior but worked through their issues.
They then hit more turbulence when Millepied sparked cheating rumors again when he was spotted hanging out with climate activist Camille Étienne.
However, a source close to the couple told us that they were working through their issues and had not ended their relationship.
“They have not split and are trying to work things out,” the source said. “Ben is doing everything he can to get Natalie to forgive him. He loves her and their family.”
The insider added that Portman is “incredibly private” and that her biggest focus is “protecting the kids.”
While they attempted to mend their marriage, reports swirled in August that they had officially separated.
“After news of his affair came out, they’ve been trying to work on their marriage but are currently on the outs,” a source told Us Weekly at the time.
The pair have not publicly confirmed or denied their breakup, though Portman hinted that they are living separately from each other.
