Liam Payne secretly went to rehab for 100 days to “get well” following public beef with his former One Direction bandmates.
“Sorry for [being] MIA. You guys know there’s a few reasons why I did that and I just needed to take a little bit of time out for myself,” Payne, 29, said in a new video titled “I’m Back” posted to his YouTube channel Sunday.
“I kind of became somebody who I didn’t recognize and I’m sure you didn’t either.”
The former One Direction member shared that he checked into a “wonderful place in Louisiana” where he went to “get [his] head straight.”
While there, he was asked to figure out his hobbies and learned that he loved to draw along with writing music and poetry. He even got to draw a portrait of David Hockney, which he gifted to the artist.
“I was in bad shape up to that point. I was really happy more than anything when I arrived to kind of put a stopper on life and work. I didn’t have my phone for nearly 100 days,” he said.
“I didn’t connect to the outside world at all and it was kind of prepping me for that moment,” he continued. “Upon leaving was actually the hardest point was turning the phone back on … because it was a little bit scary.”
However, Payne said that post-rehab, it was “a nice world to come back out to” and that he’s been spending his time getting to know the new version himself.
“I’m very lucky. Thanks to you guys at home and thanks to this wonderful life that I have,” he said.
He also thanked his 6-year-old son, Bear, and ex Cheryl Cole for letting him have the freedom to “get well.”
“There’s no point in trying to be a dad when you’ve got nothing to teach,” he said. “I don’t think up until this point I had much to say to him other than just loving him very deeply.”
Payne added that he has “more of a grip” on his life and feels he has “more of a handle” on the things that were slipping away from him.
“After I got back out, the process had worked for me to a certain extent, but also there were little bits left that I kind of had to deal with myself,” he admitted.
Payne also shared that he is six months sober, explaining that he was at a concert in Dubai when he realized that his alcoholic beverage wasn’t serving him.
“It’s good to be in this position. I definitely don’t need those things anymore. Party’s over,” he said.
Toward the end of the video, Payne confirmed that he will be going on tour in South America but that he’s “scared.”
“Not having anything to lean on is quite daunting, but I’m sure I’ll be fine,” he said, noting that he was previously taking out his frustrations with his career on the people around him.
“I took shots at everyone else, which is wrong. So I wanted to apologize for that.”
Payne also made sure to tell fans that his former One Direction bandmates – Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson and even Zayn Malik – “stuck by [him]“ through it all and “came to the rescue” when he really needed them.
Malik’s support came after Payne said that there were many reasons why he didn’t like the “Pillow Talk” singer during an appearance on Logan Paul’s “Impulsive” podcast last June.
Payne addressed the interview, saying, “It’s probably one of those life-changing moments that saved my life in a way.”
“I went through a lot, don’t get me wrong. But it’s actually why I’m here today and I hope we’re going to go forward together,” he said, addressing his fans.
“After that video was uploaded, I went away for a little bit,” he said, explaining, “I had to kind of go away to get better, let’s say.”
Payne admitted that he had to “scramble” to “stay relevant” in that moment. He admitted he had to go back to “the root” of why he loved making music to figure out how he even got to the “really bad place” he was in.
As previously reported, the “Ashamed” artist vowed in March that he would make amends with his former bandmates.
That same month, Payne shocked fans when he stepped out with a “gaunt” appearance. A cosmetic surgeon told Pvnew at the time that he may have undergone buccal fat removal surgery.
Two months later, he shared that he was 100 days sober and felt “amazing.” The rockstar had hit “rock bottom” during his time in the band when he was heavily using drugs and alcohol.
All five members of One Direction pursued solo careers after the band broke up in 2015. The singers got their start by competing on “The X Factor” in 2010.
