Tip of the Iceberg: British TV Gets Chaotic as U.K. Lettuce Livestream Outlasts Prime Minister

During a breaking political news story, I usually watch both BBC News and Sky News on two different screens, just so I don’t miss anything. This week, like many others, I added a third channel: a livestream of a lettuce.

After Prime Minister Liz Truss‘ hard-line policies plunged the economy and her political party into turmoil, the Economist published an eviscerating column about her time so far in office, saying that she “has the shelf-life of a lettuce.”

So, the British tabloid Daily Star then decided to put this theory into action. They bought a lettuce, attached some googly eyes, placed it next to a framed photo of the PM and published a livestream. “Can Liz Truss outlast this lettuce?” the publication asked readers.

It was a joke that, as you can imagine, set Twitter alight. But it also felt like something that would not Romaine long in the public consciousness (I’m sorry.) For you see, even though her Chancellor Kwasi Kwarteng had dramatically departed office (he was the fourth chancellor in only four months), Truss’ exit, at that point, didn’t exactly feel imminent.

Yet, that too ended up being the tip of the Iceberg (I’m really sorry). On Monday, Suella Braverman unexpectedly quit as home secretary, mere weeks after taking up the role, further exposing Truss. What started out as a joke ended up becoming a weird new reality: That Liz Truss could indeed be beaten by a lettuce.

Over on the livestream, the lettuce had been given hands and feet. It had also been positioned next to a block of cheddar, a memorable reference to a 2014 speech where Truss said it was a “disgrace” that Britain imports two thirds of our cheese. Now, mere moments after Braverman’s dramatic resignation, the Daily Star moved the plate of cheese out of shot and replaced it with tofu, a nod to Braverman once referring to what she called as “Guardian-reading, tofu-eating wokerati.”

By Wednesday night, the New York Times had written a profile of the lettuce. It was at this time that I started to wonder what the rest of the world must be thinking about the U.K.’s collective state of mind. “Thus far, the lettuce has not wilted in its six days in the spotlight,” the Gray Lady mused. “Lettuce can generally stay crisp for about seven to 10 days – though that’s typically the lifespan of refrigerated lettuce, not a head that’s been sitting out on a table and wearing a wig.”

As the House of Commons was then plunged into a confusing and often hostile vote on Wednesday evening, the livestream responded by having someone voice the vegetable. I tuned in to watch the speech, which mostly consisted of Rick Astley lyrics, ending with the words “lettuce prevail.” Afterwards someone poured the lettuce a glass of prosecco.

On Thursday morning, rumors flew around Westminster that Truss was about to stand down. After a short statement in the afternoon confirmed as much, the lettuce was surrounded by disco lights and the music of “Celebration” by Kool & The Gang. It was accompanied by a selection of root vegetables, all of which had googly eyes.

While the lettuce livestream was the most surreal experience of the day, it wasn’t that far off from what unfolded on television. For one thing, journalists were having to decide how to report their sources’ expletive-laden outbursts about the ongoing mess. On ITV News, anchor Tom Bradby opened his late evening bulletin quoting the fury of the deputy chief Conservative whip from the House of Commons that evening, although slightly toned down. “I am effing furious and I don’t give an eff any more,” he said. Taken slightly out of context and accompanied with the introductory news music, it felt very much like a sanitized British remake of the Howard Beale rant from “Network.”

Yet, some expletives still ended up airing on television anyway. A common blooper in recent years has been the pronunciation of now Chancellor Jeremy Hunt’s name. ITV political editor Robert Peston was the latest victim of the faux pas on Wednesday night, having decided to put the words “Jeremy Hunt’s cuts” into his autocue. You can imagine what came next.

Of course, some reported swear words that never made it on to television. Channel 4 News aired a rather heated interview between anchor Krishnan Guru-Murthy and Steve Baker MP. During an ad break, Guru-Murthy was heard calling Baker a “cunt” and the exchange was reported by the Independent newspaper. “While it was not broadcast, that word in any context is beneath the standards I set myself and I apologize,” the journalist tweeted. He was then suspended for a week.

The folly would be more enjoyable if the context wasn’t so depressing. This week, U.K. inflation reached a 40-year high, with food costs rising by 14.6%. Many families are concerned about rising costs, in everything from food to energy. The Trussell Trust, a charity that distributes food to underprivileged households, said demand had started to outstrip supply.

And last night, news anchor Huw Edwards asked this of political editor Chris Mason on the News at Ten: “Given all of the problems facing the country and lots of people watching, thinking about the problems that they’re facing with the cost of living, all the things they look to the government to make decisions on … is this government functioning in any meaningful way?” Edwards asked.

“No,” responded Mason.