Trevor Noah opened the Grammys with a breathless monologue about all of the celebrities in attendance — including Taylor Swift and Meryl Streep.
Early in his monologue, the Noah pointed at Mark Ronson, saying, “His mother-in-law is going to be sitting right there. Do you know who she is? Meryl Streep! One of the greatest Meryl Streeps of all time! She is going to be in this chair. I can’t believe Meryl Streep is here. I really can’t believe it!”
At that point, she appeared behind him, walking to her seat and embracing him on her way.
“What? You thought I was lying?” he continued. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Meryl Streep! Do you know what that means? This Grammys is gonna win an Oscar. I don’t know how, but we just did it. I’d like to thank both academies!”
Shortly thereafter, Swift entered with her entourage —including Jack Antonoff — prompting Noah to improvise again.
“I say the names, and they pop out,” he quipped. “Taylor Swift, everybody! Jack Antonoff, everybody! I’m going to say the people and then they will walk in. As Taylor Swift moves around the room, the local economy around her improves. Look at that. Lionel Richie? Now Lionel Wealthy!”
“By the way, I think it’s so unfair how NFL fans have been complaining about the cameras cutting to Taylor Swift,” Noah continued. “Like she’s controlling the cameras at the games? Let her live. In fact, on behalf of Taylor, I’m going to give her a break. Every time Taylor Swift is mentioned, I’m going to cut to someone who played football. That’s what I will do.”
Noah then riffed as the camera cut to ex-pro football player Terry Crews.
Elsewhere, Noah poked fun at the celeb-filled audience (“There are so many stars gathering in one place! Neil deGrasse Tyson is getting aroused. ‘It’s a constellation!'”), technology (“I heard an AI version of Andrea Bocelli singing ‘My Neck, My Back.’ And listen, it was beautiful, but it was wrong.”) and the music industry (“TikTok, shame on you ripping off all these artists. Shame on you! How dare you do that! That’s Spotify’s job!”).
Noah is hosting the Grammys for the fourth consecutive time.
