For the past two years, Holly Humberstone has been living on the road.
After growing a passionate fanbase in her native U.K. with the 2020 EP “Falling Asleep at the Wheel,” the singer-songwriter hopped across the pond for two back-to-back, life-changing opening gigs: first for indie favorite Girl in Red, followed by a stint on Olivia Rodrigo’s debut tour. But somewhere along her quick ascent to that sweet spot between obscurity and full-blown popularity, Humberstone stopped feeling like herself.
“I was just feeling a bit crap at myself and I was like, ‘Where do I fit in all of this weird chaos?'” Humberstone tells PvNew at Polydor Records’ London office. “Industry stuff makes me feel like shit, like I kind of just want to go home.”
But it was that same moment of depression that spawned the title track of Humberstone’s long-awaited debut album “Paint My Bedroom Black,” out now via Polydor/Interscope. During two off-days in New York City, her go-to producer Rob Milton flew out and Humberstone poured her emotions onto the page.
“The lyrics are kind of just a big ‘Fuck it, fuck all of this,'” Humberstone says of the song. “I’m just going to shut everything out and be on my own for a bit and enjoy this feeling of being in the studio and being away from everything. To me, that sums up the theme behind the whole album.”
Much of the 13-song album delves into what it’s been like for Humberstone to adjust to the lifestyle of being a touring artist. Constantly being away from home has forced her to sacrifice certain friendships and relationships.
“I was in a new place every single day, I didn’t really recognize my roots and where I was and who I was. I got a bit lost in my own head,” she says. “You have really high highs and really low lows, when you get into your hotel room at night and you’re like, ‘Where am I?’ And then it’s silent and you’re alone with your thoughts. The doom starts to creep in, and that’s when the songs start.”
Stunningly self-aware, Humberstone recognizes that she is sometimes full of contradictions — and her music conveys that, with the album hopping from stripped-back ballads like “Kissing in Swimming Pools” to the heavy, humming synthesizers on “Flatlining.” Even as we chat, Humberstone is wearing earrings that display the words “scary bitch,” paired with a zip-up hoodie boasting a big purple butterfly.
“I didn’t realize it until after, listening back to a lot of songs — there feels like such a divide in the album,” she says. “Some of the songs are really introverted, in my own little spot in my head, wanting to shut everything out. And then the other side is like, ‘This is me, everyone! This is how I feel!'”
At 23, Humberstone isn’t ashamed to admit she’s still figuring it all out, both personally and professionally, which is part of what made writing her debut album seem like such a daunting task.
“I can’t really handle criticism very well and I feel like, obviously, not everybody’s gonna love it and that’s OK,” she says of finally releasing her debut album. “I think that I’ve done my best, and I’m trying to just remind myself that I really love it and I’ve been really honest with my writing.”
Honesty is non-negotiable for Humberstone, whose songs verge on the deeply personal and often self-critical. Songs like “Antichrist” and “Flatlining” paint Humberstone as the villain in her own story — which she feels is a nearly untapped market in the songwriting sphere.
“I feel like there’s not many songs about being on that side of things, hurting somebody else and feeling like a really bad person for that,” she says. “There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be completely honest — there’s so much bullshit going on in the world and on our phones, that I just feel like my music is the one place where I can authentically be truthful and be myself.”
Perhaps that’s also why Humberstone struggles to collaborate with people she doesn’t know very well. After opening for Rodrigo last year, Humberstone found herself poised to break into the mainstream pop world — but writing trips to Los Angeles left her feeling like “an imposter and outsider.”
“I’d done a bunch of writing sessions, all with lovely people, but writing is my most personal thing and trying to share that with strangers that want to get a ‘banger’ out of it just really wasn’t great for me,” she says. “I had this interview a few days ago which really spun me out, and this guy listened to my album and he was like, ‘I’d predicted you to be the next big, crazy famous pop thing.’ And I was like, ‘Well, I never said that was what I cared about.’ I was thinking about that for a long time, being like, ‘I have to bet on myself and be in competition with myself to get to the next stage,’ but it was not making me very happy. And the songs sounded like shit pop songs.”
Instead of being pigeonholed into a genre, Humberstone would like to think she can be in a lane all her own, citing Phoebe Bridgers as an inspiration for the career she’d like to forge.
“So many artists seem to have their sound so nailed and their little universe so down to a tee. And I feel literally different today than to how I went to sleep yesterday,” Humberstone says with a smile. “I’m still trying to figure out the world and where I belong in it all and how I want to present myself. I’d really love to have a long career for myself to just keep doing my thing and not try to be somebody fake.”
