Ted Cruz Casts Pat Benatar’s Music as the Embodiment of Demonic Evil; World Is Puzzled

If most people thought of which performer best represents pure, satanic evil in music, Pat Benatar would not be their first go-to. But Sen. Ted Cruz is not most people, as he demonstrated Thursday with a mention of Benatar that seemed intended to cast the well-liked, seemingly benign Rock & Roll Hall of Famer as an emblem of Satan.

Appearing on Joe Pagliarulo’s conservative talk show, Cruz was asked if he thought there was any possibility that President Joe Biden could be both impeached and convicted by a supermajority in the Senate, a fantasy scenario openly hoped for by some on the far right.

Expressing the unlikeliness of that, Cruz replied, “I don’t think Senate Democrats, if you had video of Joe Biden murdering children dressed as the devil under a full moon while singing Pat Benatar, they still wouldn’t vote to convict.”

“That’s nuts,” replied a laughing Pagliarulo — apparently in reference to Democrats not thirsting to impeach Biden, not to Cruz conjuring the vision of a satanic karaoke rendition of “Love Is a Battlefield.”

The quote immediately had music fans and political observers mocking Cruz for pulling the most incongruous name possible out of the air to invoke the forces of Lucifer. “Obviously, the funniest part is that, in a spontaneous moment, the most sinister and satanic rock & roller Ted Cruz could think of was Pat Benatar,” wrote CNN commentator Jay Michaelson.

Others noted that it seemed more like a prepared remark than a confused ad lib, and wondered which was worse. Some theorized that maybe Cruz meant it to be a sly allusion to Benatar’s hit “Hell Is for Children,” which, if that was his intent, would count as an unusually sensitive song to perform during a ritual sacrifice, being a song acclaimed for bringing awareness to the plight of child abuse — but hey, it was a theory.

Cruz’s press office did not respond to repeated requests for clarification on the Benatar mention.

Benatar and her husband Neil Giraldo responded with just a very slight clapback on their Facebook account, posting the message: “Nice Try!”

Benatar’s press rep said that the singer, who has not been especially partisan or political in her public statements, would have no further comment on Cruz’s odd name-check.

Benatar and Giraldo have scheduled a traveling black mass — sorry, a concert tour — for this summer, starting July 22 in Northfield, Ohio. It includes seven dates at which the couple will be appearing with Pink in stadiums, including a Nov. 5 show at L.A.’s SoFi Stadium. (The full itinerary can found here.)

No word on whether hooded black robes will be available at merch stands.